Diamonds At the Lost And Found by Sarah Aspinall

 

Diamonds At the Lost And Found by Sarah Aspinall.

Published in paperback 10th June 2021 by 4th Estate.

From the cover of the book:

My Mother attracted unusual people and events to her, and she made things happen….

Sarah Aspinall grew up in the glittering wake of her irrepressible mother Audrey. Born into poverty in 1930s Liverpool, Audrey had always known that she was destined for better things and was determined to shape that destiny for herself. From the fading seaside glamour of Southport, to New York and Hollywood, to post-war London and the stately homes of the English aristocracy, Audrey stylishly kicked down every door she encountered, on a ceaseless quest for excitement – and for love.

Once Sarah was born, she became Audrey’s companion on her adventures, travelling the world, scraping together an education for herself from the books found in hotels or given to her by strangers, and living on Audrey’s charm as they veered from luxury to poverty – an accessory to her mother’s desperate search for ‘the one’.

As Sarah grew older, she realised that theirs was a life hung about with mysteries. Why, for instance, had they spent ages living in a godforsaken motel in the Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina? Who was the charming Sabet Sabescue, and what was his hold over Audrey during several months in Cairo? And what on earth happened to the heirlooms that an ancient heiress, Miss Gillette, gave Sarah when they visited her in Palm Springs?

And why, when they returned to Southport was Audrey ostracised by the society she so longed to be part of?

Diamonds at the Lost and Found tells the story of how Sarah eventually pulled free of her mother’s gravitational pull to carve out a destiny of her own. It is a beguiling testament to dreams, defying convention and exasperated love.

**************************

Diamonds at the Lost and Found is a fascinating love letter of a memoir from Sarah Aspinall to her remarkable mother Audrey, which I found myself consuming on one delicious bite - even though it left me with many contradictory feelings.

This is a book which tells Audrey's tale in an unusual way, befitting the story of a woman who was unconventional in every sense of the word, as it comprises a string of anecdotes and scraps of stories pieced together to give us a picture of the charismatic Audrey, a woman almost constantly on the search for glamour, excitement and true love - a woman not afraid to use her daughter as an accessory, nor to break the bounds of the rules imposed by polite society, in the pursuit of her dreams.

For the most part, this includes instances of Aspinall meeting a curious collection of murky and famous characters, many of whom were clearly Audrey's lovers, in exotic locations around the world, but because Aspinall tells it through the eyes of her childhood self, it lends an intriguing air of mystery and innocence to what might otherwise come across as a rather sordid existence. These episodes are also broken up with the details of Audrey's early life and times, which picture her as a force to be reckoned with, and a woman I think it would have been rather exciting to meet at her vivacious best.

It is not until Audrey finally manages to capture a man who not only fits the bill as husband material but also falls for her charms, back home in Southport, that the nature of the tale changes to one of the kind of domesticity that neither Audrey nor her daughter really know how to adjust to. Although, incredibly, Audrey and her new husband settle into a happy, if somewhat unconventional, marriage, it's clear that Aspinall herself struggled and rebellion was they only way she could cope with the change in their lives - leading to a turbulent period in her own life, before she too could find a way to move on from her past. 

There is much in this book that made me sad and uncomfortable, despite marvelling at the antics, escapades and sheer guts of Audrey, a woman well ahead of her time. It's clear from Aspinall's account that her childhood was one filled with incredible experiences, but it was also overwhelmed with loneliness, bemusement and yearning for a settled home life. Although Audrey had many talents, she was not a woman cut out for motherhood, and I found many of her lessons about how to be a woman, and her disregard for the importance of education, very troubling - especially considering the inevitable way her teenage daughter spiralled out of control when she was suddenly expected to adjust to Audrey's new domestic idyll.

It is interesting to me that Aspinall says this is a book took her a long time to write. As we grow older, our own attitudes to what has gone before, and our level of understanding about what our own parents went through changes over time. I find it hard to advocate her words that her own experience offers anything approaching a way to raise a child, but have been struck by the way she has found a way to make peace with her unconventional upbringing, the mystery that still surrounds much of Audrey's life, and her own behaviours that she acknowledges are traits she has inherited from her mother, highlighting the ways in which her mother's unorthodox lessons have shaped her into the independent and resilient person she is today rather than focus on the negatives. I suspect that Aspinall has not always felt so philosophical about her relationship with her mother, but the love and esteem she feels for the complicated woman that gave her life really shines out from these pages, and makes this memoir something special.

Diamonds at the Lost and Found is available to buy now in hardcover, paperback, e-book and audio formats from your favourite book retailer.

Thank you to Hannah Bright at Midas Public Relations for sending me a hardback copy of this book in return for an honest review, and for inviting me to be part of this blog tour.

About the author:

Sarah Aspinall is an award-winning producer and documentary maker.

She has four children and lives with her partner in London and on the South coast.