In My Mother's Footsteps by Mona Hajjar-Halaby

 

In My Mother's Footsteps by Mona Hajjar-Halaby.

Published 5th August 2021 by Thread Books.

From the cover:

‘Refugees are like seeds that scatter in the wind, and land in different soils that become their reluctant homes’ my mother once told me. As a small child, I looked up at my mother and clutched her hand. The puffiness of her palm reminded me of a loaf of warm pita bread, and when she laced her fingers into mine like a pretzel, I felt safe. I would have walked with her to the ends of the earth.'

When Mona moved from California to Ramallah to teach conflict resolution in a school for a year, she kept a journal. Within its pages, she wrote her impressions of her homeland, a place she had only experienced through her mother’s memories.

As she settled into her teaching role, getting to know her students and the challenges they faced living in a militarized, occupied town, Mona also embarked on a personal pilgrimage to find her mother’s home in Jerusalem.

Mona had dreamed of being guided by her mother down the old souqs, and the leafy streets of her neighbourhood, listening to the muezzin’s call for prayer and the medley of church bells. But after fifty-nine years of exile, it was Mona’s mother who held her daughter’s hand as they visited Jerusalem together, walking the narrow cobblestone alleys of the Old City. Their roles were reversed. Mona had become her Mama’s legs and her memory – and the one to tell her story going forward.

In My Mother’s Footsteps is a moving and heart-rending journey of a daughter discovering her roots and recovering her mother’s beloved past. It’s also an intimate and tender account of daily life for Palestinians as never seen before.

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I think that most people who follow the news must be very aware of the difficult conditions that the Palestinian people live under. It's not easy to know where to start reading about such a complex and emotive issue, but if you are looking for a way to gain some insight into the current situation in Palestine then this memoir, In My Mother's Footsteps, might be a very good place for you to begin. In this book, Mona Hajjar-Halaby, American citizen and daughter of Palestinian refugees, follows two main themes: the first is through her own experiences of working as a teacher in Ramallah and Jerusalem, which shows us much about how Palestinians live under Israeli occupation; and the second is to explore the recollections and stories of her own mother about her life in Palestine before she was forced to flee her homeland during the war of 1948 - and there is plenty of heartbreak to be derived from both sides of the story.

Even though I already had a good idea of what to expect from this book, I still found myself shocked about the reality of life for the Palestinian people. I defy you not to be horrified about the injustice that they experience every day of their lives, and yet there is something so wonderfully compelling about their resilience, their quiet stoicism, their hospitality and their enduring love for their homeland, despite the attempts to subvert their history. In these pages, Mona writes so eloquently about these people and her connection with them, that you cannot fail to be profoundly moved by her words.

For me, it is the parts of the story where she is quite literally walking in the footsteps of her mother that are the most touching, and also the most viscerally powerful. Here, as she visits the significant places from her mother's Palestinian past, we cannot fail to be aware of the true face of war, the plight of refugees, how propaganda can skew reality, and how a fiction can be spun to represent 'alternative facts'. It is in these moments, through the magic of her mother's stories, that Mona really comes to understand her own identity and accept that she is truly Palestinian above all other things - despite what it says in her passport. This part of the story culminates in Mona's mother returning to Jerusalem for an incredibly poignant visit with her daughter, and her mother's bittersweet joy as she visits the places from her past brought tears to my eyes.

There is a lot to take in within this memoir in terms of emotion and historical fact, and I found the best way to appreciate the power of the story was by a combination of written word (via the ebook) and listening to the audio version, narrated with feeling by Lameece Issaq, which allowed me to go over some of the parts again while fully immersing myself in both Mona and her mother's words - and the introduction of the audio book narrated by Mona herself really gets you closer to everything that follows.

I find myself with a lot to reflect on after reading this book. I am grateful to Mona for acknowledging that she and her family come from a position of privilege which many refugees do not enjoy, but I am still struck by the awareness that even though this allowed them freedoms not available to many displaced people their heartbreak remains just as valid. 

In a book that is so much about the past, it is easy to think that this is a book about playing the blame game, and in many ways this is true, but Mona's side of the story is very much about the present which balances out the book well and begs the question about what comes next for Palestine. From having heard Mona speak about this memoir, I am aware that she does not consider herself an activist or expert in foreign affairs and as such is unqualified to speculate on how peace can be achieved in Palestine, but I would have liked to have seen a conclusion to the book in which she expresses her personal view on what the future might hold for her spiritual homeland - and perhaps, an acknowledgement that much of the lack of political will to find any real solution has been fostered by her own adopted country. Instead, I was left wondering about how Mona sees the situation playing out, and quite what we can do as bystanders to support the Palestinian people in a meaningful way. However, I will add that if you are interested in the answers to these questions too, then it is worth checking out her fascinating interview with Thread Books to mark the publication of this book, which you can find here. It is really worthwhile listening to what she has to say, and I think you will find her outlook very positive - I know I did.

This is definitely one of those timely books that really should be widely read, and it shines with the love of family and the power of stories passed down generation to generation - these are the things that stand the test of time, enduring through adversity, and it is in these words that Mona has found her own identity and sense of belonging.

In My Mother's Footsteps is available to buy now in paperback, ebook and audio formats from your favourite book retailer.

Thank you to Thread Books for granting me access to the ebook and audio editions of this work in return for an honest review, and for inviting me to be part of the readalong.

About the author:

Mona Hajjar Halaby is a Palestinian-American educator, writer and social historian. In order to preserve Palestinian culture and heritage, she has created "British Mandate Jerusalemites Photo Library" on FaceBook, and "The Palestine Ethnographic Society." She collaborated on an interactive documentary "Jerusalem We Are Here," which takes participants on a walking tour of a neighbourhood in Jerusalem past and present, and presents a map that documents the houses in the neighbourhood with their documents, photos, and stories. Hajjar-Halaby has written a parenting book, a book on her classroom practice and has a new book coming out in May entitled, "In My Mother's Footsteps: A Palestinian Refugee Returns Home."