The Impossible Truths Of Love by Hannah Beckerman

 

The Impossible Truths of Love by Hannah Beckerman.

Published 5th October 2021 by Lake Union Publishing/Amazon Publishing.

From the cover of the book:

When Nell’s father makes a deathbed declaration that hints at a long-held secret, it reignites feelings of isolation that have plagued her for years. Her suspicions about the family’s past only deepen when her mother, Annie, who is losing her memories to dementia, starts making cryptic comments of her own.

Thirty-five years earlier, Annie’s life was upended by a series of traumas—one shock after another that she buried deep in her heart. The decisions she made at the time were motivated by love, but she knew even then that nobody could ever understand—let alone forgive—what she did.

As the two women’s stories unravel, a generation apart, Nell finally discovers the devastating truth about her mother’s past, and her own.

In this beautifully observed and emotionally powerful story of identity, memory and the nature of family, Hannah Beckerman asks: To what lengths would you go to protect the ones you love?

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As Nell sits at the bedside of her terminally ill father Bill, he lets slip a piece of information about their relationship that puzzles her. It's something she never gets to question him about, as he slips away quietly in the night.

Something about his deathbed declaration tugs at Nell's long-held feelings of isolation and not quite fitting in with the rest of her family, but how will she get the answers she needs now her mother Annie is slowly being lost to the ravages of dementia?

When Nell returns to her family home to help her sisters pack up the contents of their parents' lives, before their mother is admitted to a care home, the stark difference between the high-flying academic life she now leads and the day to day existence of her nearest and dearest cuts to the quick. She feels guilt at the way her older sisters have been left to carry the burden of care for their mother, and with the resentment they feel towards her as the favourite child who seems to have it easy barely concealed, all three find themselves falling back into the pattern of behaviour that was established in their childhood.

Nell's suspicion that there is a deep dark secret at the heart of this family refuses to go away, especially when her mother starts to make some odd comments as she slips back and forth between the present and the past - and some of the things she finds among her parents' possessions don't add up. Will she ever know the truth about her own past?

The Impossible Truths of Love is a superbly crafted story of grief, identity and family secrets that brings in elements of domestic noir and mystery to weave a tale that grips you from the first page to the last. The story moves between the present as Nell tries to get answers to the doubts that plague her, and the past when Annie was shattered by a series of traumatic events with consequences that ripple through time.  Hannah Beckerman's writing is beautiful, wringing every possible ounce of emotion from you as she explores what it means to be part of a family with hidden sorrows, as the strain of current events throws up unresolved issues from the past.

If you have been through the process of losing your own parents through illness or dementia, and subsequently had to sift through the belongings left behind you will find so much of what is written in these pages hugely relatable. Beckerman conveys so well everything that follows these events: sibling rivalry rearing its ugly head; overwhelming feelings of nostalgia; the rawness of grief; and the heart breaking acknowledgement of what has been lost, especially if you have questions about what you find. Much of this hit the mark with me and made my heart ache anew with the loss of my own parents. The fact that this book is set in my old stomping ground of South London really ramped up the sentimental vibes too. The tears flowed, dear readers...

This is character driven and deeply affecting stuff, but is is also a deliciously plotted mystery story that unfolds with a quietly devastating slow-burn over the course of the book, in both storylines. Nell and Annie's stories come together as all the little pieces of the puzzle reveal themselves, and you find yourself seconding guessing where you think this novel is taking you many times before the surprising ending gives you an emotional pummelling. 

The Impossible Truths of Love is one of the finest novels I have read this year that combines themes of searching for a sense of belonging, the fathomless depths of what it means to be a mother, and the impact of unresolved trauma on mental health both in the present and the past. I read this one in a single luscious sitting, unable to tear myself away. It is thoroughly engrossing, profoundly moving, and will break your heart in two. Simply stunning!

The Impossible Truths of Love is available to buy in paperback, ebook and audio formats from 5th October 2021, via your favourite book retailer.

Many thanks to FMcM Associates for sending me a proof of this book in return for an honest review, and for inviting me to be part of this blog tour.

About the author:

Hannah Beckerman is a bestselling author and journalist whose novels have been translated into more than a dozen languages worldwide. She is a book critic and features writer for a range of publications including The Observer and the FT Weekend Magazine, and has appeared as a book pundit on BBC Radio 2 and Times Radio. She chairs literary events across the UK, interviewing authors and celebrities, and has judged numerous book prizes including the Costa Book Awards. Prior to writing her first novel, Hannah was a television producer and commissioning editor for the BBC, Channel 4 and the Discovery Channel, and for two years lived in Bangladesh, running a TV project for the BBC. She now lives in London where she writes full-time.