Open by Rachel Krantz

 

Open by Rachel Krantz.

Published 25th October 2021 by Octopus Publishing.

From the cover of the book:

When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership - just one that did not include exclusivity.

Excited but a little trepidatious, Rachel set out to see whether love and a serious relationship can coexist beyond the familiar borders of monogamy. This is her open and honest true story.

Now, in her debut memoir, she chronicles her dive into non-monogamy. With fly-on-the-wall detail and extraordinary perceptiveness, Open takes us inside Brooklyn parties and into the wider swinger and polyamory community. Armed with her journalistic instincts, detailed journal entries and interviews with experts and therapists, Krantz also breaks new ground in confronting the unique ways tacit abuse and gaslighting can manifest when things get so complex.

Unflinching and brazen, Open asks what liberation really looks like and whether the pleasure really is worth the pain.

*****************

When Rachel met Adam, she found herself falling for him hard, and was keen to do everything she could to make him happy, so when she learned that he was looking for a relationship with a committed partner like her, but also wanted to explore the option of non-exclusivity - starting with the possibility of watching her have sex with other men - she gave it some serious thought. Although initially unsure, Rachel was persuaded that this might actually be something worth trying, and she agreed to explore the world of Brooklyn's sex parties with him. Through these parties they becoming intimately involved with the wider swinger and polyamorous community around them.

Open is Rachel's forthright and candid memoir about her experiences on non-monogamous relationships, and it takes you to some uncomfortable places - both figuratively and graphically literally. As a long-married and confirmed monogamist, I was interested to read about a world I know nothing about and I found Krantz's unflinching honesty about the way she was also introduced to a scene that she previously also had no experience of quite fascinating.

Have no doubt that this a memoir that looks frankly at all the 'ins and outs' of the swinging scene, so if this is likely to make you squeamish then this book is not going to be for you. I will admit that I found Krantz's story more than a little disturbing at times - for reasons which I will elaborate on in a moment. But this book is actually a lot more than a string of salacious episodes, which makes it a very interesting read indeed.

What Krantz does here, by writing about the years of her first experiences of non-monogamy, drawing on her intimate encounters and journal entries, is examine a host of themes around open relationships. Obviously much of this looks at exploring sexual freedom and pushing ones boundaries, but for me the most intriguing part is how she delves into the psychology of sexual relationships; the perils that come with polyamory, such as jealousy and lack of trust; whether the freedom a non-monogamous relationship gives is worth it; and curiously, the way porn feeds into stereotypical sexual behaviour - especially for men.

Now we come to the crux of the matter... why this book proved to be rather disturbing for me... It's clear almost from the start that Rachel is entering into a relationship that carries with it a significant dominant/submissive element. Adam is not only dominant, but engages in controlling and abusive behaviour on a staggering scale, and is an expert player in the gaslighting stakes. It takes Rachel a long time to cotton onto this while she is absorbed with her own sexual liberation and I actually found this quite upsetting - although she does end up in a better place at the end.

Although I am not convinced open relationships are quite the solution Krantz believes them to be, because there are too many trade-offs and the potential for abuse is high, I can see why she feels this way based on her own life story, and admire her honesty in writing this memoir. There is no doubt that this is an engaging and thought-provoking read, that sheds light on a sub-culture that largely takes place in the shadows. I've not read anything quite like this before, and it was certainly an eye-opener!

Open is available to buy now in hardcover, ebook and audio formats from your favourite book retailer.

Thank you to Octopus Publishing for sending me a copy of this book in return for an honest review, and to Random Things Tours for inviting me to be part of this blog tour.

About the author:

When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership - just one that did not include exclusivity.

Excited but a little trepidatious, Rachel set out to see whether love and a serious relationship can coexist beyond the familiar borders of monogamy. This is her open and honest true story.

Now, in her debut memoir, she chronicles her dive into non-monogamy. With fly-on-the-wall detail and extraordinary perceptiveness, Open takes us inside Brooklyn parties and into the wider swinger and polyamory community. Armed with her journalistic instincts, detailed journal entries and interviews with experts and therapists, Krantz also breaks new ground in confronting the unique ways tacit abuse and gaslighting can manifest when things get so complex.

Unflinching and brazen, Open asks what liberation really looks like and whether the pleasure really is worth the pain.