Hanging Out: The Radical Power Of Killing Time by Sheila Liming

 

Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time by Sheila Liming.

Published 26th January 2023 by Melville House.

From the cover of the book:

Almost every day it seems that our world becomes more fractured, more digital, and more chaotic. Sheila Liming has the answer: we need to hang out more. 

Starting with the assumption that play is to children as hanging out is to adult, Liming makes a brilliant case for the necessity of unstructured social time as a key element of our cultural vitality. 

The book asks questions like: What is hanging out? Why is it important? Why do we do it? How do we do it? And examines the various ways we hang out - in groups, online, at parties, at work. 

Hanging Out: The Radical Power of Killing Time makes a smart and funny case for the importance of this most casual of social structures, and shows us how just getting together can be a potent act of resistance all on its own.

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Hanging Out is essentially a series of essays by Sheila Liming covering various aspects of how people interact through different social situations, such as in groups, online, at work, and at parties. In these Liming proposes arguments supporting her view that we would all be better off if we just 'hung out' more with each other face to face.

I was expecting this to be an academic sort of book, so am surprised to find that it is actually quite a different sort of beast. It is based around Liming's own life experiences as an individual, and college professor, which she uses to support her theories about the advantages and disadvantages of the way people relate to each other in different settings. This makes it more accessible to a wider audience, although as someone with a background in psychology, I would have liked to have seen some scientific backing to her conclusions, which, although anecdotally sound, are sometimes a bit woolly. 

The most interesting thing about this book for me is the way she uses her years of teaching literature to bring in examples of the kind of behaviour she is talking about by referencing books and film. This adds a deeper intellectual aspect to the series of very personal stories about her life. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers is particularly used beautifully in the section about parties, although I think that citing Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh as a book promoting a beneficial way to 'hang with strangers' is a bit bemusing, no matter how much I love his work. However, if Liming's references encourage readers to then explore the works she mentions, then that is good with me.

Liming makes some really insightful obsevations about the modern world, particularly around the need to re-establish face-to-face contact in the wake of the isolation we have all experienced in Covid-19 times. In addition, her suggestion that an ever increasing reliance on digital platforms is less than ideal for developing, and maintaining, personal relationships, is one I think most of us can agree with.

This is a book for picking up and reading in sections, mulling over Liming's philosophy on life. It is very 'popular psychology' in the American style, but there is a lot to be gained from using her thoughts as a spring board to consider how you relate to others around you. She writes with refreshing honesty, and humour, which makes this book engaging and easily readable too. Her final section is the most useful of all I think, as she gives very sensible advice on how you can make changes to your own life in order to 'hang out' more with others. There are some great strategies to combat loneliness and isolation here, and this makes for a really positive ending to an intriguing book. 

Hanging Out is available to buy now in hardcover and ebook formats.

Thank you to Melville House for sending me a proof of this book in return for an honest review, and for inviting me to be part of this blog tour.

About the author:

Sheila Liming is an associate professor at Champlain College in Burlington, Vermont, where she teaches classes on literature, media, and writing. She is the author of two books, What a Library Means to a Woman and Office, and the editor of a new edition of Edith Wharton's The Age of Innocence. Her essays have appeared in venues like The Atlantic, McSweeney's, Lapham's Quarterly, The Los Angeles Review of Books, Public Books, and The Point.