Our Fathers by Rebecca Wait

Our Fathers by Rebecca Wait.
Published 23rd January 2020 by Quercus Books/Riverrun.
Read January 2020.

Tom returns to his childhood home, the island of Litta in the Hebrides, after 20 years away from the small community where he spent his early years - the place where his father turned a shotgun on his mother, brother and baby sister, before killing himself.
The place where he was the only survivor of that tragic day.

For twenty years Tom has tried to escape the ghosts of his past, but now he feels compelled to return, though he is not sure why.
Turning up on the doorstep of his taciturn uncle, Malcolm, he is searching for answers to the questions that plague him.

What makes a grown man murder his own family and does the same darkness lie within his own heart too? How can we escape the sins of our fathers?

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Wow, what a book! Our Fathers is totally gripping and absolutely heartbreaking.

Tom grew up in a household where his father, John, was controlling and often violent behind closed doors, but showed a completely different persona to the world outside. The small community of Litta was shocked by how someone who was apparently such a loving family man and charming neighbour could have done such a thing. He feels an element of guilt for what happened that fateful day, even though he was only eight years old. The weight of the past hangs heavy, and the fear that he will become the same man his father was haunts him.

Malcolm feels guilty too. He and John also grew up with a violent and controlling father. and although they developed into very different kinds of men, he feels he should have seen the darkness within John before such a tragedy came about. Should he have looked closer? 

As Tom and Malcolm start to get to know each other and reflect on their own childhoods, a tenderness starts to develop between them that is beautiful and poignant. They are both quiet and taciturn, and find it hard to be open about their feelings, but as Malcolm does all he can to convince Tom that he is nothing like his father, an understanding grows between them that helps them both to find some peace. The writing here is so unbelievably good - you feel every awkward pause; every unspoken hurt and frustration; and appreciate ever little bit of humour and heartbreak that comes from their interactions. Outstanding!

There is another delicious and shocking thread in this story that will tear you to pieces, and that is the part played by another member of the small community - a community that while it seems to know everything about everyone, is unwilling to look past the surface. No spoilers from me though, so you will just have to read the book to find out!

It is hard to convey how well written and compelling this book is in just a few words. Rebecca Wait uses the remoteness of Litta so cleverly to reflect the emotional isolation of the characters in this story, and the turbulent weather plays its part in heightening every feeling. The threads are all woven so artfully together as we learn the truth behind the events of the past, and follow Tom through his search for answers.

I cannot say that I found this book enjoyable exactly, as many parts were very difficult to read - the hidden domestic abuse, coercion and violence against the vulnerable was very shocking. I was an emotional wreck by the time I had got to the end and had sobbed my way through big chunks of the story! But it is an incredible and oh so well written book that the experience was most definitely worthwhile. I cannot recommend this one highly enough.